12yo just got an autism diagnosis — how do we tell extended family without it becoming A Whole Thing?

What worked for us: 'We have it covered. We'll loop you in on what would be helpful when we know.' Repeat that exact sentence. They eventually stop sending articles.

Also — your kid gets a vote in who gets told and what. We had our 13yo write the email to the grandparents. Took a lot of pressure off us.